“You’re casting opinions at people who need them,
All sparks will burn out in the end.
Well be careful, angel, this life is just too long.
All sparks will burn out in the end.” –Editors, “All Sparks”
“Peace Corps-types only stay around long enough to realize they’re not helping anyone.” –Leonardo DiCaprio, “Blood Diamond”
“In the long run, we’re all dead.” –John Maynard Keynes
There are many things to be said about life as a Peace Corps Volunteer in South Africa, but it is not dull. As I have proceeded into my final calendar year of service, and the days tick away, things have become simultaneously easier and more difficult; I am getting more done than I had imagined and yet am often bored to death. The amount that I can still get done begins slipping away, and yet new opportunities keep appearing. I’ve become happier, comfortable and at ease in my surroundings, but at the same time things frustrate me much more than they have since the beginning of my Peace Corps service. In just 7 months I will be packing away my things and leaving my village forever. The stakes are both raised and pushed further out of my control. Those are the contradictions that define my life these days.
My primary work in the schools has proceeded, at a pace that does not surprise me, but that does not mean that it is the pace I had wished for. On the day before the first day of classes in January, I called all three of my principals together for a meeting, where I outlined a list of my grievances from the past year and suggestions for change. I reiterated time and time again that my time here is limited; obviously the principals joked about me extending my service. They seem to think that I’ll be around long enough to address everything at the pace they want. That’s impossible.
After the meeting, I plunged into my work head-first, trying to do things as quickly as possible. But, as I have discovered over and over again, me trying to get things done quickly and haranguing others doesn’t serve its purpose; things don’t really go any faster and I just end up stressing myself out. So I stepped back, and in all honesty, not that much has happened this school quarter. I’ve given some workshops, conducted or assisted some meetings, given some demonstration lessons in classes. For the most part, that’s about it. There’s the constant stream of interruptions that mean something I had planned will inevitably be delayed. At all three of my schools, I am not as far along as I had hoped to have been this quarter. A lot of days I might just end up sitting in the principal’s office for an hour or two (sometimes more), extremely bored, reading the newest issue of The Economist or Newsweek because there is nothing else for me to do.
But that doesn’t mean that I’m not doing anything these days, that my work is ineffectual, or that I’m unhappy. It could easily have gone that way, though, and for a time it seemed like it might have. Life here is always unpredictable, and at any time things could take drastic turns for the better or worse. In fact, just recently, two of my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers, my friends, terminated their Peace Corps service because they were unhappy. It was a shock to the system, and I’m sure that any PCV, when hearing that others are leaving, will re-think his or her own experience here. These two (former) PCVs had been there with me when we went to Philadelphia on 15 August 2005. They were on the plan with me when we flew to South Africa, and together with me during the two months of Pre-Service Training. They could easily have been me. (And having already put in so much time, 19 months at this point…)
It is a fact that I have learned over and over, that a volunteer’s site defines his or her experience. If your village is terrible, you will be unhappy and you might leave. The fact is that a lot of people don’t want help, and they don’t want to change. If you were surrounded by that, by people who opposed you, who didn’t want your help…you would leave too. (What makes the Leo DiCaprio quote from “Blood Diamond” I included above note-worthy is that, in many cases, it’s unfortunately true) I know for a fact that if I hadn’t moved villages a year ago, I wouldn’t be in South Africa right now. So when I see my fellow PCVs leaving, I feel sad to see my friends go and I only feel regret that their experiences were not what they had hoped; I know they could just as easily be me. When she SMSd me to tell me she was leaving, one of my friends wrote, “This country has really messed me up. I need my mommy to fix me and make me better again.” Were it not for a decision that my supervisor made exactly one year ago, that might have been me sending out that SMS.
So, yeah, my current village, my current situation is not perfect. But it’s enough for me; I have things I can keep busy with in the village and people I can count on. For that, I consider myself lucky.
The most valuable thing, probably, was starting that Life Skills group last year. Not only was the training itself rewarding to me, but it has opened up doors to a lot of other work that I can do. The fourteen Peer Educators who I trained last year are, for the most part, dedicated, hard-working, and dependable. They are just great people to be around. So now, I’ve decided to work with them, together as a team, on a very large-scale project.
The project wasn’t my idea, actually. My girlfriend, Erica, another PCV thought up an idea for an HIV testing drive. She presented the idea to me two months ago; when I heard her preliminary plan, something clicked and I saw an opportunity to do something incredible in my village. I immediately started working trying to see if the idea for a testing drive could be feasible in my village.
The idea itself grew out of this opportunity: there are funds available to Peace Corps Volunteers…these funds are known as VAST funds (Volunteer Activity Support and Training). Any volunteer who is interested can apply for up to USD $5,000 from VAST, which falls under Bush’s PEPFAR initiative. (President’s Emergency Plan For AIDS Relief). PEPFAR funds target 15 highly-at-risk countries, and South Africa is one of those 15 countries. To qualify for a VAST grant, a PCV has to demonstrate community initiative, involvement, and commitment. Everything needs to be provided in documentation in a written, formal project proposal: detailed actions plans, community statistics, back-up plans for when things go wrong, monitoring and evaluation plans, sustainability, and a fully-detailed budget. If the proposal is accepted, the funds are deposited directly into the PCV’s bank account and he or she is personally liable.
The VAST project idea that Erica and I are trying to implement is detailed, but to summarize, the point is to get people to get tested for HIV/AIDS in our villages. Currently, almost nobody goes for the free HIV/AIDS test, although the disease is prevalent and a huge risk to them. (the clinic only gives 30-40 HIV tests every month, to pregnant women who are required to receive the test, and 10 of those turn out to be positive….over 25%) People don’t get tested because they are scared. There’s a huge stigma, and the goal of the project is to provide the stimulus to get rid of the stigma. To do this in my village, there will be massive advertising campaigns in and around my village, culminating in a “kick-off event” on 5 August. We’re looking to attract over 1,000 people from my village to the event (a daunting task), and there will be music, dancing, entertainment, games and activities, and a series of speeches. At the event, I will get tested for HIV in front of EVERYONE, so that they can see that it’s a perfectly normal thing, quick, and almost painless.
The event will serve as the “kick-off” to a “Month-of-Testing” where community members will be encouraged to get tested at the clinic in my village. We’re hoping to get 600 people in the village to get tested. If they get tested during the month of testing, they receive a small prize bag with some goodies, a raffle ticket, etc. At the end of the month of testing, there will be another big event…a “final celebration event.” This event will be different from the “kick-off” event in that only those who were tested will be allowed in. (We’ll be able to tell they were tested because they’ll be wearing a beaded HIV pin that was beaded by a group of women in the village and provided free in their prize bag).
At this celebration, there will be more entertainment, music, dancing, games and activities with small prizes. There will also be more speeches. All guests will also be given a full catered lunch for free. Then, we’ll have a raffle where five winners will each win prizes of up to 1,000 Rand (USD $143). That might not seem like a lot of money to an American, but consider that most villagers live in poverty; a large majority of them earn less than 1,000 Rand every month. We believe that through education and, more importantly, incentive, people will have that little push they need to get them to the clinic to receive the free HIV/AIDS test. As the phrase goes, money talks….
I realize that the project is going to lead to a lot of people getting terrible news. They will learn that they are HIV+. We won’t abandon them….I’ve met with the clinic about this, and they have basic counseling available, but there is no support group in my village. And, as I’ve said before, my Peer Educators are dedicated, hard-working individuals….they are starting up a Support Group in the village to help all of those people who discover their HIV+ status during the course of the project. Their dedication keeps me dedicated….this project wouldn’t be possible without them.
Work planning the VAST proposal has taken up a LOT of my time these past two months. I might not be busy doing school-related work all of the time, but I am incredibly busy working on the proposal, the budget, having twice-weekly meetings with my VAST committee (all of my Peer Educators, some other community members, and the Ward Councilor from my village), meeting with the clinic, and doing other related work with Erica.
The prizes and raffle money we plan on giving away are not covered under VAST funds, and so we have to find other sources of funds for them. Erica and I have been going around town in Mokopane meeting with business managers, requesting donations. So far we have not received many donations, but things are looking promising. My friend from Mokopane, Sulayman, also gave us the idea to rent out advertising space at our events for a fee, so we have also been approaching businesses trying to sell them advertising space. This has been starting to work for us. (But, we haven’t gotten all of the donations we need….if anyone wants to contribute ANY money to help this project, it would be VERY APPRECIATED! My email is:
omar.ahmed@gmail.com if you’re interested)
A few weeks ago we were in Mokopane requesting donations, and ended up meeting the Head of Finance of the Municipality. A seemingly random meeting turned into an hour-long discussion (which at times turned into an almost-heated debate between the Head of Finance and myself, during which Erica would have to act as mediator—who knows what would have happened if she hadn’t been there!). The Head of Finance ended up scheduling a meeting for us with the Mayor of the Municipality. This was huge for us; there are over 200,000 people living in the municipality (many of whom live in poverty), and it spreads over 6,000 square kilometers. The Mayor has a LOT to do.
We had the meeting with the mayor; he, the Head of Finance, my Ward Councilor, Erica, and I met at the Mayor’s Office. We presented our idea (basically Erica presented it and I backed it up) and amazingly, the Mayor liked it! He pledged his support, and invited us to meet with the Municipal HIV Council, which we did. We presented our idea to the Council, and got their approval and support. We also got some good contacts in the Department of Health, the Anglo-American Potgietersrus Platinum Mine (the BIGGEST platinum mine in the WORLD, located within the municipality….I can see it from my village), and some local NGOs.
Our work on the VAST proposal is almost done; within a week I’ll be sending it in for approval. Once I get approval, then I get funds; once I get funds, then the real work begins. It’s something that is set to consume most of my time from now until I leave in October; it gives me something to do, something to look forward to. When I have a bad day at school, the VAST work keeps me motivated. As I told my committee, “We’re going to make history in our village.”
And if all of this work isn’t enough, I’m also training for TWO half-marathons. I’m running the Longtom Half-Marathon on behalf of the KLM Foundation on 31 March, and then seven days later, on 7 April, I’m running the Two Oceans Half Marathon in Cape Town. Longtom is run over the longtom pass, just outside of a town called Sabie, in the eastern part of the Mpumalanga Province. It’s in the very eastern part of the country; then just after the race I’m headed to Cape Town, literally on the other side of the country, to run Two Oceans. So after a long day of giving workshops or working on VAST stuff, when the 35-degree (Celsius; about mid/high-90s Fahrenheit) heat starts to cool, I might just have to put on my shoes and go for a run.
And so I’m very busy these days…just not always at school. At school I will continue to do what I can, but I know I can’t do it all. Some teachers will absorb the information and help I give them, and they will (hopefully) be better off for it. Some other teachers will remain indifferent, as they have been, until the day I leave. And still others will remain openly hostile to me. In fact, at one of my schools, one teacher in particular has been blatantly hostile towards me for a long time, and the worst part about it is that he has a lot of power in the school. When he chairs meetings, he kicks me out. At one point he even kicked me out of a meeting that I had called for! Other teachers don’t stand up to him because of the perverse influence he carries, and so instead of dealing with a minor mutiny, my principal had no choice but to ask me to leave the meeting that day. That was back in November last year. But the hostile teacher has stepped up his influence recently; he somehow influenced and persuaded 8 of the male teachers at that school to boycott all of my workshops. They don’t want me there, and I won’t do anything to change that.
But I could care less about them. There are more than enough people in my village that I do care about; the little kids waving at me (after all this time, my novelty among young children has STILL not worn off), the old grandmothers greeting me in Shangaan, the extremely dedicated Peer Educators I’ve worked with, the family I feel at home living with. One of the most valuable things I’ve discovered in my service is that these are the people I want to help. While I want my work in the schools and with regards to HIV de-stigmatization in the village to be sustainable in the long-term, that’s not my only, or even my main, goal. I want to make some small difference in the lives of the people I live with, now, while I can. The famous economist John Maynard Keynes once said, “In the long run, we’re all dead.” It’s time for me to do something now, while we’re all alive.
A Peace Corps Volunteer’s work is never done.
