Update 4

"He who begins with certainties ends with doubts; he who begins with doubts ends with certainties."--Proverb

"The traveler's conceit is that he is heading into the unknown. The best travel is a leap in the dark. If the destination were familiar and friendly, what would be the point of going there?"--Paul Theroux

So I've been at my site for over 2 months now and I've been away from home for 4 months. I've actually been at my site for longer than I was in training! That thought is mind-boggling for me. A lot has happened since my last update; let me recount.

I finished fasting about 1 week after my last update. That last week was especially tough; temperatures ere consistently between 35-40 degrees Celcius. I think that, all in all, those 3 weeks from my arrival at site until the end of Ramadan were the hardest 3 weeks of my life. I was optimistic in my update, but in truth I was incredibly unhappy at the time. I was missing my friends who were now scattered all across the country of South Africa, and missing everyone at home too, since I was truly alone for the first time. I was moving into a new place, having to learn how to cook, do dishes, wash clothes, and bathe all over again. For the first time in my life, I was without electricity or running water. I was new to my 3 schools; I didn't know the teachers and they didn't know me. I had to bike to my schools, uphill, on bumpy dirt roads (even worse than Moletji!), in the heat, without water. I had to figure out how to get to public transport. I had issues with my supervising principal. And on top of everything, I was fasting. It was all too much for me, and I seriously considered going home. When my friend Jules decided to go home, I seriously had to ask myself: What Are You Doing Here?

(On a related note, my friend Amy went home last week. Hi Jules! Hi Amy! Hope life is good back in the USA, the land without "butler bars" or bogobe)

I'm glad to say that I am really, truly, happy now. Thank God I stayed!! It's as if, as soon as fasting ended, things got a helluva lot easier. I became adjusted to cooking with gas, adjusted to taking a bath in a basin, adjusted to the pit latrine (the flies don't even bother me anymore), adjusted to hand-washing clothes. I actually washed my clothes for 6 weeks, but 2 weeks ago I decided that it was taking too much time and effort, so now I pay one of the high school girls in the village, Marcia, to wash my clothes for me. It costs me 40 Rand (approx. $6 US), plus the cost of detergent, to have my clothes washed and ironed, weekly, for an entire month. Not too bad!

When I was fasting I had been tired during the day; I wasn't very productive. As soon as that finished, though, I was able to actually devote my attention to my schools. I got to know many of the teachers, and spent the month of November handing out teacher questionnaires to all of my teachers (the questionnaire was actually my friend Eric's idea), interviewing each teacher individually, compiling my results, writing school summaries, and then presenting these summaries at each school. Doing all of this had its challenges, though; the school-year runs from mid-January until early-December, and in November teachers were reviewing, giving final exams, and then grading exams and writing reports for the students. That meant that finding time to meet with them or present my results wasn't always easy. I do feel like I have some idea of what I plan to do these next 22 months though, and that is something. And I have a LOT to do. Let me talk about my schools quickly:

1) GONANI PRIMARY SCHOOL
This is my "key school;" it's in my village, about 5 minutes walking from my house. The principal of this school is my supervising principal. I did NOT like him at first, but I've gotten adjusted to him. There are 109 students from grades R (kindergarten) to 7. Like I said, my village is a SMALL village. So for these 8 grades, there are THREE teachers, including the principal. THREE! The students are grouped into 4 classes: R/1, 2/3, 4/5, and 6/7. One teacher rotates back and forth between R/1 and 2/3; she leaves 2/3 unsupervised while teaching R/1 for 30 mins, and then switches. This goes back and forth for the entire day. The 2nd teacher and principal switch back and forth between 4/5 and 6/7, dividing up the subjects between them. However, the principal is often at workshops, or in meetings, or running errands, basically just not in class. So his students are left sitting in class with nothing to do.

2) MAYEKE PRIMARY SCHOOL
This school is about 4.5 km from my house. It's my largest school; there are over 500 students. There are 16 teachers, including the principal, so unsupervised learners isn't so much of a problem. This is the only school of the 3 that has electricity. I've spent more time here than at my other schools because there is a computer that I use to access Peace Corps documents and write up handouts. There is also a printer and photocopier. Obviously there's no internet access.

3) MANGHENA PRIMARY SCHOOL
This is my farthest school; it's about 6km from my house, entirely uphill. There are about 400 students and 15 teachers, principal included.

These are the 3 schools I'll be working with. Now that I've familiarized myself with them, I think things are getting easier. Yeah, Manghena is still far, but at least I'm getting in shape though! The only problem I have is that by the time I get to school, I'm tired and sweaty. So the first thing these teachers and students see is this sweaty "mulungu."

"Mulungu" is the Tsonga word for White Person. When I first arrived, everywhere I went there were kids yelling out "MULUNGUUUU!!!" It definitely got to be a little annoying after a while, especially since I am not, in fact, a "mulungu" after all. After a while I started hearing it less; now the kids yell out "Ndzivalelo!" or "Omar!" (which they always pronounce "OOOOOOO-mah!")

I've also adjusted to the heat. For example, I've learned that the only way to sleep comfortably on a really hot night is to open all of the windows. I figured this out after sweating through my mattress a few times. However, I also learned that, at night, I can't leave the windows open and the light on at the same time. I learned this one the hard way, when I had all sorts of bugs in my room at night. Particularly annoying are flying ants, which lose their wings after a while. I definitely had to sweep up all of their little wings off of my floor a few mornings. But they're not as bad as the large, palm-sized, fast-moving, wall-walking spiders that I've had more than once. Thank God I have a mosquito net though! I get under that things when I go to bed, and I don't have to worry about anything crawling on me when I sleep.

November was pretty hot; thankfully December hasn't been so bad. Probably because it has actually rained a bit over the past week-and-a-half. 5 of the past 10 days have seen rain. During heavy rain, I was surprised to discover, my roof leaks in certain places! Some of my clothes and papers got wet in the process, but luckily nothing important. Sometime during this next week Max and I are going to apply roof sealant and fix the leaks.

Max is still the best friend I have here in the village. Every day we sit outside, talking about all sorts of things. I definitely lucked out when it comes to host families. I've also gotten to know Happy pretty well; during the first few weeks she behaved pretty formally with me, always at an emotional distance. I think that this is based on the traditional male-female interactions that everyone is used to here. But Happy and I are definitely getting along really well now, she's actually a very funny, intelligent person. And Hlaluko is still my favorite part of the day. My day usually gets off to a great start when I walk out of my front door in the morning and Hlaluko, seeing me, laughs and yells, and then runs up to me for a hug. She has boundless energy; it's something I've forgotten about young children, especially since the last time I spent any significant amount of time with a 3-year-old, I was 8 and the 3-year-old was my sister. Hlaluko loves to be tickled; she comes up to me, arms upraised, and says "Dikida!" (tickle) I often tickle her until she is on the ground, laughing. And as soon as I finish, she is on her feet again, smiling, arms upraised, ready for more.

People here love their music; everyone is always blasting music. Most people have basic stereos that they have connected, somehow, through some tangle of wires, to their solar boxes. So the solar power provides not only light, but music as well. Max asked me once if I was planning on buying a stereo to hook up to my solar box. When I told him I wasn't, he asked, totally serious: "Don't you like music?" I laughed; I think that anyone who knows me would find that question hilariously ironic. In fact, I did buy small speakers to connect to my discman, so I can listen to music when cooking or cleaning. Bringing my music was definitely a good idea; it's my entertainment. I've been able to listen to albums I owned back in New York but never really got into. For example, I've rediscovered The Killers. I had dismissed their album "Hot Fuss" as "2 great songs and a bunch of filler" back when I had first heard it in NYC, but the more I've listened to it here in South Africa, the better it's gotten. (it's actually 8 great songs and 3 mediocre ones) I've probably listened to it more than anything else since I've been here.

Max also has a small black-and-white television rigged up somehow to his solar box. It only gets 2 local channels, only for watching soccer, of course. Max is a die-hard Kaizer Chiefs fan--everybody here is either a Chiefs fan or an Orlando Pirates fan. I myself am also a Kaizer Chiefs fan (AMAKHOSI!), although I still have no idea how the game is played.

Max and I are going to see the Chiefs play the Black Leopards later on this month. The Black Leopards are the local Venda team; I've already been to one Black Leopards game at Thohoyandou Stadium; I can't wait for Chiefs-Leopards. And I would love to recount a crazy story of an encounter that my friend Eric and I had with the head coach of the Black Leopards one day. But I'll leave it up to Eric to tell that story, sometime.

Max is also the captain of the local village soccer team. Basically, any village male between the ages of 16 - 25 is on the team. They practice down at the "soccer field"--just a flat section of grass and 2 goalposts. They want me to play with them, but I need to learn a lot more about the game and practice before I can start playing with them in matches against neighboring villages. In the meanwhile, while they are practicing, I have started running laps around the soccer field 3/4 times per week. I've only started this a few weeks ago; after not having run for so long, I'm out of shape. I'm tired after only 2-3 km. I'm gonna keep running, though; my goal is to be running 5k in under 25 minutes by March, 10k in under 50 mins by November, and then to compete in a half-marathon in April 2007. Lofty goals; I have no idea if I'll be able to do it but at least it gives me something to strive for.

At night, in addition to music, my other form of entertainment has been reading. I've read some incredible books recently--"Catch 22" by Joseph Heller, "Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut, "Siddharta" by Herman Hesse, just to name a few. However, no book has affected me as much as a book called "Dark Star Safari" by Paul Theroux. That quote I started off with is from Dark Star Safari. The book is an account of Theroux's return trip to Africa. He had spent 2 years as a Peace Corps Volunteer back in the 1960s, serving as a schoolteacher in the small African country of Malawi. Theroux had befriended a native Malawian who was involved with politics, and he ended up getting indirectly and inadvertently involved with a failed coup d'etat that was meant to overthrow the Malawian dictator, Hastings Banda. Theroux was kicked out of the Peace Corps, ended up moving to Uganda, and became a world-famous author. Dark Star Safari is all about Theroux's trip back to Africa, traveling by land from Cairo to Cape Town, going through Egypt, Sudan, Ethiopia, Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, Malawi, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, and South Africa.

It's a very good book, and you should ALL read it, but its true strength is in the ideas and opinions Theroux puts forth. I'd love to recount some of them, but Theroux writes better than I ever could, so I'm going to include one of his quotes on charity:

"In my view, aid is a failure if in 40 years of charity the only people still dishing up the food and doling out the money are foreigners. No Africans are involved--there is not even a concept of African volunteerism or labor-intensive projects. If all you have done is spend money and have not inspired anyone, you can teach the sharpest lesson by turning your back and going home."

It's a really insightful point, and something I've thought a lot about. When I arrived in South Africa, eager and optimistic (and, yes, a little naive), I was convinced that Africa needed aid. I was convinced that it was the First World's duty to help put this continent back on its feet after the horrors of slavery and colonialism. Now, I'm not so sure; that's why I started this long update with that proverb about doubts and certainties.

Theroux definitely has an effect on people. When I finished Dark Star Safari, I passed it along to my friend Cait. When she finished reading it, she told me: "I think this will go down as one of the books that has most profundly changed my thought processes. I feel more cynical and I think my reasons for being here have changed. I'm also dying to travel the continent." So I'm not the only one the book has had its effect on! (Cait is, in fact, also planning on writing a blog entry about Dark Star Safari)

And so I went from certainty to doubt, and I did a lot of thinking. Now, in a sense, I've come back to certainty again, but not the same certainty I began with. Now I'm 100% positive that I want to be helping the South African education system. In fact, I have another Dark Star Safari quote, this one from a conversation Theroux has:

"I think the government wants to have bad schools, because ignorant people are easier to govern."

And that's the real point, isn't it? The problems are all interrelated, and education is at the root. Corrupt governments steal their people's money and leave them in poverty, and the people don't notice, because they are uneducated. And so charities, foreign aid workers in their shiny white Land Rovers, all come to help combat the poverty, but an educated African workforce wouldn't need to bring in outside expertise. Education is really the only way to make truly sustainable development in Africa.

And so I'm convinced of the importance of good education for Africans, and I'm here to help. And I'm also proud that I'm here with the Peace Corps, which isn't just another aid agency throwing money at a problem, bringing in professional charity workers with their expense accounts. This is real, on the ground, person-to-person, bottom-up work, and I'm happy to be a part of it. I think that's one of the interesting things about the Peace Corps, judging from my own change, and the changes I've seen from my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers, and even the changes that happened to Paul Theroux. The Peace Corps takes optimistic, idealistic Americans, beats all of the idealism out of them, and leaves them with a real desire to just, simply, help. Maybe that should be the new Peace Corps slogan.

That's all for now. Take care.

Omar
December 14, 2005

P.S. To those of you who sent me packages: thank you SO much.